Monday, September 29, 2014

Book conversations: Why Men Don't Listen & Women Can't Read Maps


Ever wondered why the "mummies on the bus go chatta chatta chatta" as the nursery rhyme goes?

Or why men loooove motor racing and football?

Do you wonder, when your wife says, "we need to talk", 'WHAT IS THERE TO TALK ABOUT?!'

Or do you wonder about your husband, 'why does he need pornography; am I not good enough?'

For these and related doubts about the opinions and behaviours of half of the population which is different from your gender, read this book.

Both the genders have come together for this book; the couple - Barbara and Allan Pease who have successfully navigated the marital minefield - go through extensive research publications through the years to provide an understanding of the differences in the male and female brain structure and function.  Some of it, as they say, can be quite controversial, and in today's world, sexist.  Especially the bits about why women can't read maps, or why they can't do certain things as well as the men can.  

Sure, some of the ideas presented may even appear to be a bit exaggerated, or over done; such as the behaviour of our prehistoric ancestors as a template for our differences, or, that men have poor oratorial skills - the Peases do acknowledge that there are always exception to the rule.

Barring a few minor errors and odd ways of presenting facts, the book, largely is a light and humorous read.  I found that some of the points are repeated several times in different subsections - probably because the female part of the couple was more active on the days that these passages were written!

The bit about the alternate sexuality - the scientific basis and societal issues - has been presented very well.  All those who think that homosexuality is an issue of choice and harbour discriminatory thoughts against gay people should read this and understand the issue better.  This is much needed in today's society - especially in our country where the issue is gaining prominence, and the law makers are still unsure about whether to decriminalize homosexuality or not.  

You should go for it if you often tear your hair out wondering about the antics of the man - or woman - in your life.  Or, if your marital life, having breezed through the 'honeymoon' period, is now in a phase where all those once-loveable quirks of your partner appear just plain ridiculous and unbearable.  And make sure your partner reads it too!

Image source: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51D5THTY92L.jpg

Monday, September 22, 2014

Sudarshan Kriya - a personal experience

I signed on for part-one of the course out of curiosity more than a year ago.  It happened to be arranged in the area I live, and I had a week of evenings to spare.  It was being done in two batches - morning and evening - I opted for the evening one.  The lady who conducted the course was adept at what she was doing, and she appeared to go about registering all the participants with ease, with a little bit of help from the many volunteers who had turned up on the first day to help out.  As I handed out the filled form, she looked at my profession and misread it as "actor"!  I hastened to correct her before the conversation went any further by saying, "No, I don't have the looks"!

The first evening was about introducing oneself to the whole group, a bit of an icebreaker, as with many other workshops.  There was an introductory lecture session, and a basic yoga and breathing session.  

After a few more evenings, we finally got down to the actual Kriya (not to be confused with Kriya Yoga, which is different).  Sudarshan Kriya is a series of breathing exercises, quite unlike any of the pranayama exercises that you get to do in yoga sessions.  Apparently, these exercises were devised by the Guru himself, Sri Sri Ravishankar - a result of his years of sadhana.  The word, Soham is given prime importance - again, another Sri Sri innovation - and the breath is fashioned around the variations in the intonation of the word.  Going into the intricate details would not help much, as you need to experience it yourself.

During the process, the instructor had pre-warned us that we might have some unusual experiences - some had seen holy men, some had had a whole body vibratory sensation, etc.  We were told that these experiences were part of the process and one should not be disturbed by them.  I have to confess that I did not experience any of them - maybe it was due to my pre-existing spiritual shortcoming, or just plain resistance to such phenomena.  Somebody said that I was probably not yet ready for such things.  

But then again, it is not necessary that such phenomena should occur to you in the very first session.  It generally takes years of yogic penance for renunciates to experience any such divine phenomenon, let alone for the worldly wise and materialistic folks such as you and I.

Now for the downside.  I generally dislike workshops of all descriptions, because they just don't let you be.  You just can't take things sitting down, at your own pace.  You are expected to not just interact, but also indulge in silly team-building games, and worse, role plays!  This Kriya workshop was no different and we were made to undergo a series of exercises involving forming groups, public speaking, interacting with individuals, and even a group dancing session!  That's two pet hates that I had to counter in the workshop: role plays and dancing!

The one exercise that stays in my mind involved staring without blinking into the eyes of another person sitting in front of you.  You have no idea how unnerving that can be.  The purpose of this was to make you understand that you could see a bit of yourself in the other person, hence driving home the point that we are all one.  They could have just said that to me, and I would have believed!  The last day was reserved for watching videos of the activities in the Art of Living (AOL) ashram on Kanakapura Road in Bangalore and on Sri Sri and his interactions with the masses - both Indian and Western.

A visit was arranged to the ashram a few days later.  A mini-van was hired and a group of about fifteen of us set forth early in the morning.  It is a sprawling campus, and the entire area is divided into various large buildings and is even intersected by a road.  Participants of Kriya camps from other areas of Bangalore had also arrived, and all were taken through a set of basic yoga, Kriya and meditative sessions.  One of the teachers in the ashram addressed the gathering and informed us about the program for the upcoming Maha Shivaratri day.  We were invited to attend and book places in advance, as Sri Sri was going to lead the Kriya and meditation sessions himself on the day.  

Individual participants from various centres were invited to share their experiences, and almost all of them praised their tutor handsomely.  None of us ventured forth from our group and we later regretted this, because our tutor was genuinely good and adept in whatever she imparted to us.  One could say that she even exhorted us and inspired us to not only do Kriya on a regular basis, but also come back for the second part.  I have to thank her immensely for having taught me the Kriya, which I continue to perform, although not as regularly as suggested.

Lunch in the ashram was a communal affair and we had to wash our own plates.  There were volunteers everywhere - cutting vegetables, cooking, serving, cleaning the floor, rearranging utensils, etc.  It was an impressive sight to take in - hundreds and hundreds of visitors streaming in and eating together.  

There was a bit of shopping for music, books, and Ayurvedic products in the post-lunch session.  When I was standing in the queue at the till of the music shop, a woman attempted to by-pass me and hand over the CDs she had selected to her relative who was ahead of me. I couldn't bear this, and I handed over my things and the money to a fellow participant in another queue to buy and walked out.  I figured I had a long way to travel on the spiritual path yet!

As we ascended the stairs to the central meditation hall, we encountered another strange sight.  An Indian visitor - a young boisterous man - was specifically stopping white foreigners and forcibly striking up a conversation and insisting on shaking hands with them.  The first one that I saw him meet was a man, and the his encounter was brief; but then he bumped into a hapless white woman, and he was all over her like a rash!  Loud words of, "Hi how are you", "Are you staying here", etc.  I couldn't help wondering what he was there for: spirituality, or something else!

We were led into a large lotus shaped hall (pictures above), at the centre of which there was a large podium, upon which Sri Sri would sit and lead the congregation.  Broad steps were arranged around the central podium in a circular fashion where devotees could spread out their yoga mats during Kriya sessions.  The podium had a large picture showing the lineage of the saints right from Adi Shankaracharya to the recent one.  

Our instructor called me over to a wall on the side of the podium which had large posters of scientific studies conducted on Kriya.  Perhaps she thought that in my profession, we are always going on about evidence-based research.  Basically the studies shown were about how the Kriya helped reduce blood pressure in those with hypertension, and another one done in NIMHANS by a professor I happen to know, which showed its beneficial effect on mental well-being.  As we were driving back to our area in the evening, telephone numbers were exchanged and the Kriya team sought an assurance from us that we would keep in touch and even become members of the group - an extended family as they called it.  

I realised later, that one of the desired outcome of the whole exercise - the workshop, the role plays, dance session, shared lunch session, watching publicity videos, visiting the ashram - was perhaps intended to inculcate a sense of camaraderie and build up the AOL community.  I must admit that I have reservations about joining anything that remotely resembles a cult, although the Kriya team, I must add is not 'cultish' in any way.  If you do not mind doing a bit of volunteer service while you learn the Kriya, then maybe you could go right ahead and commit yourself; there's nothing wrong in this.  

While I did not, and have not experienced anything spiritually awakening during the Kriya sessions, I do experience a sense of calm.  And if it helps, at the very least, in reducing anger, BP and/or sugar levels, then it may still be worth your while.  As I said, it does take a lot of patient practice and dedicated sadhana to progress on the spiritual path - a reason why there are so many drop-outs.  

I did, however, make a few friends during the course, one of whom I am in touch with even now.  Ultimately I am just happy that I got to learn something different and stimulating from an accomplished teacher.   

If you are interested, check your local community centres or newsletters.  Further information can be obtained from the main AOL website:


    

Film conversations: Fighter

As I have iterated multiple times before, I rarely venture into a multiplex to see a move due to previous harrowing experiences.  Especially...