Book conversations: How to be a Literary Sensation

Krishna Shastri Devulapalli does to writing what Rishi Piparaiya does to flying, with an equally unpronounceable surname!

And the humour in this one is as good.  

But I guess the joke's on me.  Because - yes, I admit it - I took the title on its face value.  

Literally literally, if you like.  And came a cropper.

The crossed out 'financial' replaced with 'artistic' should have given the clue.  But I did not take it.

The book has nothing to do with how to be a good writer.

The first half is about Devulapalli's encounters with colourful characters from his life.

And the second half takes a dig on just about all aspects of a writerly life - including the 'gas generated at lit fests', and his pet peeve: books on the theme of 'loss and redemption'.  

There are several laugh-out-loud (LOL, silly!) moments.

I definitely won't be a 'literary sensation', but at least I had a good laugh.  

So go for it if you have had enough of loss and redemption.  (Whatever the hell that is, by the way... I mean BTW).

Image source: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51tSV1yfyXL._SX323_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

Book conversations: Tongue of the Slip

This one is a light, easy read, which takes a lighthearted view of life's gaffes and struggles.  Mostly drawing from his own life experiences, Belliappa recounts engaging and witty tales involving his family, relatives, friends, and himself.  

Whether it is his prankster friend, his golf adventures, his overeating hostel mate, his attempts to name a rare flower after himself, his building society's solutions to prevent spitting in building corners, or his umbrella that just would not let him lose it, these stories go to show that there could a humorous side to every story, and if taken in the right spirit, even difficult situations would seem easy to handle.

The last section of the book, Part 5, is all about Belliappa fantasising or dreaming about things such as going on a space flight, meeting God who is a golf lover, and receiving a clock tower as a gift.  Since these are not based in reality, they are not as engaging as the other tales, and remain his flights of fancy.  Having said that, his take on the changing power status of the thumb and the index finger since the pre-historic times to modern age, is interesting and thought provoking. 

By far the stories that I found most touching and interesting were that of the Italian family and the Tamil-French youth, respectively.  In the former, Belliappa finds himself in a newly opened pizza place, where the family running the place keep staring at him till the end.  It is only when he hands the one Dollar note to settle the bill does he realise that they were eager to get their hands on their first earning since opening the place.  The note is promptly framed and put up on the wall!

In the latter story, Belliappa and his wife find themselves stranded in a large Paris metro station.  They approach a couple of Indian looking men who look bewildered when addressed in English.  It turns out that since they were born in France, they know only French and their mother tongue, Tamil.  Hence when he asks them if they speak Tamil, they reply, "oui, oui, aama, aama"!  What's that called?  Framil, perhaps?

Since Belliappa is a Coorgi, there is a Coorg flavour throughout the book.  Coffee estates, dogs, winding roads, rain, and guns seem to be main ingredients of Coorgi life, and that's brought out in these anecdotes.  

And I know what to say to a Coorgi the next time I meet one: "ningga daada?" - 'which family do you belong to?'!

Image source: http://ecimages.kobobooks.com/Image.ashx?imageID=0UoMkqXFoEerxVsucRiB3Q

    

Humour: Because Even a Mosquito Can Make You An Eunuch!

Lighthearted take on the perils of living in a mosquito infested world...

Because Even a Mosquito Can Make You An Eunuch!

Image source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/e/ea/Aedes_Albopictus.jpg/1200px-Aedes_Albopictus.jpg

Satire: Real Action for the Price of Reel Action

Satirical take on the perils of movie gazing in a brat-infested movie hall (published on boloji.com)...

Real Action for the Price of Reel Action

Satire: Breaking news!

Yes, we have moved ahead since the days of good old Doordarshan newscasts.  Back then, a rose-bedecked Salma Sultan would read out sedately from a prepared script in front of her, with hardly any visuals supplementing what she was reading out.

Then came the teleprompters, and anchors would read the news from the screen in front, without having to look up and down from their scripts.  I remember one of the viewers complaining through his letter that reading from teleprompters made anchors appear to have stiff necks, as they did not move their necks up and down!  But now teleprompters are the norm, of course.  As also visuals - supplied by travelling cameramen and on-field correspondents.

The studio anchor interviews the on field correspondent, who then interviews another correspondent, or comments on the goings on behind her.  There are so many questions and answers relayed back and forth that it can become exhausting - and pointless.  The only option then would be to zap them - with the remote - thank god for this invention!  Works very well with that other telly abomination as well: K-serials.

Sometimes the entire newscast is broadcast from a particular place of topical importance.  There was such a telecast in UK, when global warming was an issue - the anchors were standing in a distant mountainous area with a backdrop of melting mountain snow!  What for?  Won't we get the picture if the same visuals could be projected while the anchor speaks from the studio?  How much money did the channel spend on this arrangement?  By transporting the anchors and setting up the equipment in such a remote area, did they not ironically contribute to global warming?

The other irritating aspect of news channels these days, especially Indian ones, is the panel discussions.  First of all, they get more panelists than their air time would allow, and then the anchor interrupts them so many times, that hardly any point is put across by any one panelist, hardly any conclusion reached in the end.  Grrr...either increase the time allotted for your program or reduce the number of panelists.

Another very irritating behaviour by anchors: neverrrrrr ending questions... Or poly-thematic questions - asking about two or more issues in the same question.  An example would sound like: "what were you doing in 1987, why did you do it and what impact has this had on your career and your family life: did it improve your prospects at work and your love life, or were you left to fend for yourself?"  

Err... could you repeat that please?  

And if these sort of questions are asked to a panelist far away, with a time delay on the phone, then you, dear viewer, are in for some serious entertainment: 

"what were you doing in 1987..." 

"I had just finished the course and..."

...why did you do it and what...

...I had started a part time job at... sorry?

...yeah, why did you do it and what impact has this had on your career...

...yes, I am coming to that...where was I....yes, the part time job...what?...

...you career and your family life...

...family life...well let's see...

...did it improve your prospects at work and your love life...

...family was in India at the time and... sorry, love what?...

...your love life... did it improve or were you left to fend for...

...family... love... oh get off me!

Yet another irritant: introducing the interview standing right next to the anchor prior to starting the interview.  "Well, we are here with so and so, who in 1992 was the first person to jump off a plane and do a perfect somersault before landing on his mother-in-law's barbecue!  Now let's talk to him about his..." (okay, I made the scene up, but you get the picture).

The studio anchor has just told us the whole scenario, why repeat the entire thing before talking to the person?  Just get on with the questions!

And then there is...

Breaking news!  A celebrity sneezed today: how's that for news that could affect your life endlessly?  One of the channels also has a scheduled breaking news segment!  The only thing breaking would be the TV screen when you chuck the remote at it!

Sensationalist headlines: Bomb blast rocks Chennai!  You later find out that the blast was on a localized railway track, and a handful of passengers were injured - the rest of the VAST city went on its business as usual.  But no, in news language, Chennai was rocked!

Can we have DD and Salma Sultan back please...yes, yes, even without the rose is fine!


Image sources:
http://www.indyarocks.com/blog/50650/Doordarshan-turns-50
http://thiruvananthapuramupdates.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/3.jpg

Book conversations: Aisle be Damned

Hilarious!  Laugh-out-loud funny - or should that be LOL?

The best way to enjoy this book is to let yourself go while reading it.  This brand of humour is right up my street and I laughed throughout this one.

With as unpronounceable a name as Krishna Shastri Devulapalli, Rishi Piparaiya takes us through the whole air travel experience - from arriving at the airport to security checks to check-in to being seated in the plane to disembarking to travelling away from the airport to your destination - thanks to his own 1000 hour flying experience.  

Every section is explained in his own witty style.  Memorable moments include tips on how to upgrade to business class, and once there, on how to influence your fellow hapless business 'classers'.
He also appears to be very safety conscious, even though he says he has spent a huge chunk of his life travelling in planes.  There is a howlarious description of how to gauge air safety with a water bottle, and how to prevent the pilots from exiting the cockpit during the flight.  

He justifies his concerns with some extraordinary anecdotes of pilots, flight attendants and passengers - drunk pilots, abusive passengers and flight attendants, and, perhaps most memorably, an inexperienced co-pilot who pushed a lever while adjusting his cockpit seat and sent the plane plummeting down by 7000 ft.  

I expected a few more anecdotes about bumping into celebrities - with Piparaiya's flying experience there should have been a cartload... err, business-class-load - but there is only one.  

Reminds me of my own hapless adventure in movie-going. 

Recommended for travellers and non-travellers - both on air and on the ground.


Image source: https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/516dPXFrdNL.jpg

Satire: K-Serials are putting the meaning of idiot in the idiot-box

I must say I find television very educational. 
The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
Groucho Marx, US comedian

There is no other situation where this is more applicable than with our K-serials, if you leave out irritating news channels.    

I call them so because of their common theme: all begin with 'K', thanks to the fad of a certain TV production house.  Nothing to do with K-pop, don't worry.   

Is it five-year-olds who come up with the story lines for these serials?  Probably not, because that would be like insulting five-year-olds. 

It all started with Hum Log and Buniyaad.  Later, with the advent of cable-TV, rubber-band epics entered our lives.

There was one which declared 'because a daughter-in-law was also a mother-in-law once', the title sequence of which had a current politician invite you into a large house with an extended family.

Another purported to depict 'story of every house' - heaven help us if this is really the case.

Since then there has been a never ending parade of similar cheesy, gaudy, loud, stretched-out affairs flooding each of the entertainment channels.

Yes, initially there was a novelty factor: women cried buckets over the travails of Tulsi.  But if you have to eat baingan ka bharta 365 days a year then deliciousness quickly changes to 'pukishness'.

Each of these soaps begins with a specific theme: child marriage, widow re-marriage, women's lib, etc.  But if the TRPs rise:

• the producers milk the story line to stretch and modify it beyond recognition, with more and more implausible twists added in - carefully timed towards the end of the day's episode, so that interest is maintained

• newer and irritating characters are added on, existing characters made to disappear or die, only to resurface later, until you can't be bothered if the bahu eloped with her 2nd ex-flame, or the saas threw herself off the cliff  

It is also recommended that you disconnect your brain while involving yourself in these plots:

• a lover who was once thought to be properly bumped off, comes back with a new face - thanks to the wonders of plastic surgery, which strangely also alters his voice

• the vamp's attempt to poison the patni's juice with the contents of a bottle that is helpfully marked 'poison' is foiled at the last minute

• the gaudy makeup and dress changes each time the bua leaves the kitchen to go to the toilet

• the irritating camera pans repeatedly along with a thunder-clap on each of the 21 faces every time it is announced that the bahu's child is not her pati's

Some of the gems that I have observed over the years (when I had the misfortune of encountering these sublime moments during idle channel-surfing, or when the wife insisted that we watch what she wanted to watch): 

• pink uniform for nurses working in the NHS in UK (yeah, pink!)

• a matriarch who would be at least 150 years old by a rough estimate involving the ages of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren 

• and the classic - the good doctor who declares 'mubharakho... aapki beti ma bannewali hai' just by feeling the beti's pulse

Who watches these?  Bored housewives?  Entertainment starved 'desperates'?  Desperate housewives?  

What does it say about us?  Yes we like drama, with a little bit of tadka added... make that a lot of tadka.  

But these soaps take it to another level.  To the point of being regressive and retarded. 

Soap-fans appear to have an inherent tendency to look into the other person's life, into her intimate details, into her affairs, into her failures. 

Perhaps their inquisitiveness gets a daily dose of fulfillment with these K-serials.

I would rather watch paint dry.  Or, join my daughter in the adventures of Indian cartoon heroes.

Ah well... each to his or her own.   


Resources: 
Quote: brainyquote.com
Image: https://in.bookmyshow.com/entertainment/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/desktop15-compressed.jpg